Articles

The Green Eyed Monster

Written by Evelyn Leite

Recently a reader asked me to write on the topic of jealousy. It’s not an easy topic to explore because it is an emotion that defies logic. Jealousy is about fear of loss, lack of trust and a belief in the scarcity principle. The scarcity principle is when people believe that there is only so much of anything in the world and one must fight for a share. One thing seems to be true: the lower a person’s sense of self-worth the more likely jealousy will occur. Another truth is people have to get self-worth all by themselves; you cannot give it to them. You can accept them, love them unconditionally and reassure them, but it only goes so far with a jealous person.

Methamphetamine a true story

Written by Evelyn Leite

She told me this story and asked that I pass it on because maybe it will save someone’s life.

“It was Labor Day. I had lost my mother, and then my brother hung himself, a series of events that had me confused and numb. I had no feelings anywhere; it was like I was in someone else’s body going through motions like a robot. A friend invited me over to his house early in the afternoon. When I got there a lot of people were sitting around the table just “bulbing it up.” “Try it,” they said, “it will make you feel better.” I watched them for a while. I saw a woman take a light bulb, carefully twist the end off and painstakingly clean out the inside of the bulb, then tape the end of the bulb, leaving room for a hard plastic straw. The straw has to be hard. I watched from a place of total indifference and unconcern. Something in me said I should get away from here, I should not do this, but I didn’t care what happened to me now. I watched as she poured a little packet of meth in the bulb and shook it down, then put the straw in and got out her lighter. Everyone who uses meth has a lot of lighters. The lighter was held to the bottom of the bulb for a long time. When the bulb turned yellow and filled up with smoke, my boyfriend handed it to me and told me to inhale long and slow through the straw.

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Some Thoughts About Anger

Written by Evelyn Leite

Anger is a secondary emotion and it covers up hurt, fear, or shame. Or all three at once.
The angrier a person feels the more he/she is covering up. This is incongruent, as often the anger seems out of proportion to the event. When a person explodes in anger it is rarely the spontaneous event it appears, it is usually that many small things have added up and the stress of being “nice” has reached its capacity.

Many men don’t realize how angry they are toward women. Starting with mothers and teachers who ask impossible things of them, and did not give them the support and appreciation they needed to become fully functioning males with robust self-esteem.
The less self-worth a man has the more violent he becomes when angry.

Men often to say to women in exasperation “what do you want from me?” when the real question should be “what do I want from you?”
Most anger, especially the anger that is the same argument over and over between people, is in effect a power struggle with neither side listening to the other. When winning the argument or gaining power is the main goal, people will fall back on some very destructive ways to get their point across.